everyone is out dating tonight. in fact almost everynight. while i'm stuck at home. i can't meet him whenever i want to anymore. it's always pre-planned. i have to see his schedule, his mood. and maybe cause of that, i'm quite sian to initiate to go out. it's always i suggest something and wait for him to voice out when. how i wish we were back then. time will just stopped. it was nice to have someone to love and to love you back. all day long, i just felt emptiness. nothing to look forward to. not even out with him actually.

but one thing that left a great impact on me was that night. the night before my birthday. he kept checking on me if i fell asleep in the theater, touching me to wake me up so i won't miss any part and giving me a long and tight hug before we part. this was something he used to do when we were together. nowadays, not so anymore.

but all i can say is that we are just friends. it's hard to find someone like him. the one who make me smile and laugh. the one who make my heart skipped abit. he's someone i've been looking for, my ideal guy. despite all his basterd-ness, everything was perfect. and im not even angry about that anymore. just angry that he never give me another chance.

oh well.

anyway, my birthday was really great this year. awesome surprises, fabulous presents, and great company. i couldn't ask for more.

except for a few mishaps. like a certain guy got mad at me before my birthday and decide to break friendship with me. a guy i used to be pissed at stopped wishing me since last year and i don't understand why he even bother to contact me a few times when he can't be bothered to wish me. waste my time wishing him.

but then, thanks to everyone who made me happy for that past three days. =D